Saturday, September 09, 2006

Well ... I NEVER! (ok, so I did)

Barb posted about some of her most embarrassing moments ... and invited us to the Grand Party of Humiliation Honest Acceptance and Reflection of That Which Makes Us Unique and Special.

Although my life has been one continual faux pas, the two that come to mind right at the top would be:

1. In 1982, I went to Europe with Teen Missions. Our goal was to do drama and singing evangelism throughout Scotland, Ireland, Wales and England while living on a long boat. We're talking 30 teenagers on 2 boats 6 feet wide and 42 feet long on canals just as wide. Kindof like a teenage poorboy sandwich.

Well, the group before us broke the onboard sanitation system. You know, they irreparably plugged up the septic. So, for 6 weeks, no onboard, privatized potty facilities. Did I mention we were on canals I the middle of nowhere? This was resolved by the old-fashioned camping "Spotter/Squatter" method. I know you're thinking THIS is the embarrassing part. Oh no.

In Scotland, on a beautiful c-l-e-a-r morning, I was, well, not the "Spotter". And you know, once you start ... well .... We were under a bridge, thinking we were safe. Until the local rowing crew came down the bank to launch their boat. They were college boys. I was 18. It was, humiliating. My "Spotter" --- she thought it was hysterical. I tried to fake as much high school French as I could, like I thought it would less embarrasing if they thought I was French. But, we're talking pressure here. When all was said and done (and I mean when everything was done) not only did they think it was cool that we were "American girls", but they took pictures with us. So, it's recorded for posterity. Yes, it is.

2. When Kati was born, I stayed home for 3 months. I was still actively nursing her, and pumping through the day. After awhile I thought I had adjusted my milk to come in in the morning, then at night when I got home. HA!

My office was small, and my (female - thank Goodness) boss was standing over my desk looking at a report. I had grabbed the only clean thing I owned to wear that day- a dark green silk shirt.

Are you with me on this? Milk + Silk Shirt + Useless Nursing Pads.

I stood up to get something out of a file and brushed against her as I did. Within about 30 seconds, I was soaked top to bottom and was actually d.r.i.p.p.i.n.g milk from the hem of my shirt. Laughing made it worse, but she was gracious enough to dive over the desk and slam my door shut.

For years, we talked about how she went and got her jacket and let me sidle out behjin her to the car to go home and change. I prayed harder that I wouldn't get pulled over, more than any other time in my life.

So, that's me. In a Nutshell.

If you never come back, I'll fully understand.

For more human interest stories :) .... visit Mr. Linky at Kristen's So Called Life


Blogger Pamela said...

Oh, that is just so funny, and I think it is so sweet of you to share with us, Barb is right it definitely lightens the mood to laugh. Thanks for sharing!

6:24 PM  
Blogger Barb said...

I'm laughing out loud, back in here in the office all by myself and Rob thinks I'm nuts. I know he's suspected this since I started blogging, but when I laugh like this, well he just doesn't get it.

I wasn't getting a good mental image of that boat until you said "kind of like a teenaged poorboy sandwidh." But it the "spotter'squatter" think that caused this laughing I can't seem to stop doing. I've never heard it called that. Didn't you just want to die? I can't even imagine. That's worse than being nine months pregnant and gassy. I can't believe you actually talked to those guys and took photos with them after they saw you in your finest hour.

And the milk thing? Can you imagine if a male co-worker had been the one you brushed against? Oh the horrors we endure to become mothers.

This cracked me up. I'd just much rather sit here and read these than go color my hair which is more roots than anything else now.

6:27 PM  
Blogger Susanne said...

Linked over. Oh the nursing one brings back memories. Can't say I ever dripped from my hem, though! :) Thanks for sharing!

9:40 PM  
Anonymous Brenda said...

LOL. I'm with Barb. I've never heard the spotter/squatter method called that. Good thing they waited until everything was done to take pictures. Having it recorded for posterity is way better than having a record of your posteriority.

10:49 PM  
Blogger Kristen said...

Oh, MAN! Having recently finished nursing my youngest I can really relate to how you must have felt when that happened. Thank the Lord you had a kind, understanding, FEMALE boss!! Could've been worse, huh? ;-)

thanks for linking to me and participating!

12:50 PM  

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